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"Family" Time Isn't (Necessarily) "Me" Time

Conflict Covid family time happiness happiness Covid lockdown Relationships

This blog is taken from my letter to subscribers of www.SevenDaySoul.com  Visit the site to join us or simply email me at susannahhealy@gmail.com and we'd be sure glad to have ya!



Firstly, I want to take a moment to just think about the precious lives lost during this Covid pandemic - those who have  died from the Corona virus, and also those who passed have  away from other causes but who perhaps suffered because of the isolation and separation that Covid has put upon us. 

Maybe just take a few seconds or whatever you choose to look at the image above and

reflect on those whose hands we could not hold......

Secondly - an apology for my lack of communication.  I have to admit I am never very good at  social media.  Partly because I forget that in modern life we are supposed to taka a photo of absolutely everything, and partly because I feel we all have enough in our inboxes already and I don't want to add to everyone's mental clutter.  So I only post when I really think something will lift someone else or connect me with those who share my spiritual lens on life when I need it myself.  But I do like letter writing and I am sorry that I became so busy with work - and also a temporary role as a Covid Swabber - that it has been such a long time since I have written.

Over the past number of months I have delivered numerous  workshops and seminars via Zoom and other online meeting sites.  The number of attendees on these online workshops which are offered by employers to their workforce can vary.  But one recent workshop on self confidence and tackling fear had an enormous attendance.  It showed just how we can all carry our fragility for years without acknowledging it. Our individualistic culture and definitions of success which I spoke of in my last newsletter can leave us feeling less than "acceptable" or "enough" or feeling like we haven't quite "hit the mark" in our career or our dreams for ourselves.  One of the great things about online workshops is that people can ask questions anonymously and so I get questions that people mightn't feel comfortable asking in person.  It reminds me of the privilage of listening to clients in private consultations and the things they share with me.  And so I get questions about coping with the most ordinary everyday challenges - the things that really matter most.  It often occurs to be that if we could be more honest about these fears and anxieties with each other then we would know just how "normal" we are. How much of the things we worry about are shared, common to us all. We would not need to build self-confidence because we would have self-acceptance, and from that self-esteem.  No pedestals or prizes needed.  Just us as we are.  Wouldn't that be the greatest act of compassion?  To know and to show that we are all accepted just as we are?

Just as a sort of take-away, I'd like to also share with you  two points that seem to have been helpful to people at these seminars and workshops.  

The first is that during these days of lockdown, some of us are living in an artificial level of home and family time (while others struggle with aloneness). Many are trying to get out to exercise / walk the dog / get their daily steps / force the kids to get some fresh air all in one by heading out together.  But just keep in mind that "family" time is not necessarily (although of course it can be) the same as "me" time or "relaxation" time.  We need both. This is not against anyone.  It is a simple truth that we all need quiet or silent time, time to be with our thoughts and time to do and pander to those hobbies, books, tv shows, Youtube videos or whatever that are our foibles.  If you have a partner, they will need this time too.  No matter how brief, give each other some personal time.

Secondly, and on a related topic: it is so good to hear the rising tide of the language of compassion becoming mainstream and even entering the corporate world.  But it can be easy to understand the word "compassion" as acts of charity to the poor or needy.  We all need to look  a little closer to home.  The old adage of keeping our best manners for those we live with / those who have to live with us might just keep the peace in our homes in these challenging times.  It's probably one of the  best news year resolution we can aim for.

That's all for now . 

Stay safe and take care of yourself,